I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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