I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
