I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
