Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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