is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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