I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I fill condoms, not promises.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
