Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize