i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
