her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
