they need to just BURY HIM!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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