We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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