stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
