Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Semen is not good for contacts.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Panties = found
Randomize
