My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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