on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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