he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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