We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
