You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
