i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
