HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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