I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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