I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
