We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
