shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
