i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize