Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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