Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
