ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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