No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
