So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
