its not stalking. its research.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
