Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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