I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!