he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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