You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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