My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.