Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
