Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
