Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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