i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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