i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize