I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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