I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
