her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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