I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
