things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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