just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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