i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
