I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
