I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
