She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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