it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
