So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
