she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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