I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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