I didn't shave. On purpose
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
