In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Someone came in the potted fern
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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