I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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