I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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