I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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