oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
