I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I came so hard my ears popped.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
