I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
