I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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