we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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