I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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