I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
