we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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