Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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