no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
