He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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